John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
I’m going to tag you every time I see this.
This clarifies things somewhat.
Breaking news from the UK
… isn’t the chocolate always the bottom?
HOW THE FUCK DOES ANYONE MIX THAT UP? THE WRITING IS ON THE GODDAMNED TOP OF THE BISCUIT EVEN WITHOUT THE GODDAMNED CHOCO-MOTHERFUCKING-LATE.
Exactly. Anyone surprised by this news needs to hand in their passport and stiff upper lip.
Interestingly, the first recorded use of the phrase “Stiff upper lip” was in America, not England.
The Tumblr Theme Song of the Day.
I was gone all day and missed April Fools on tumblr but I’m gonna reblog this anyway just to tell you all that I unironically enjoy veggie tales.
oh god this is one of my favs of the silly songs <333 where was this earlier haha
So I was listening to Owl City and Port Blue and Sky Sailing and everything Adam Young while drawing this. I should be asleep.
Queen leaves couple stunned after Her Majesty accepts wedding invitation at Manchester town hall.
I’d like to think that’s exactly the sort of stunt I’d pull if I were the Queen of anything.
Queen Just Glad To Be Invited To Something Normal For Once
Queen Totally Fine With It If You Just Want To Go For Kebab Sometime
Just Drop Queen A Line
Queen Is Just Saying
Now this is getting ridiculous. Though SOPA is down and out, there are companies who want to add portions of it under names and policies, which entirely kills freedom of speech for the internet. Among them are the Trans-Pacific Partnership, draconic Notice and Staydown measures, and whatever else. So we got until April the 13th until they pass through. What I’m more concerned about is the Trans-Pacific Partnership. If this gets signed, then your internet provider will be force to police every single thing that you do and will do in the future in your internet life! In fact, if that gets signed, they’ll declare everything from fanart to fanfics, thought to breach any kind of copyright, even if it is harmless, to be a massive felony.
So sign this petition like there’s no tomorrow right away and save internet freedom once and for all.
Best Fandom Ever !
Social Justice Warriors[SJWs] are the new cancer of the internet. They’re a bunch of college-age, American-centric, special snowflakes, who feel the need to dictate anything and everything like self-entitled asshole’s.
Who gave you the position of being the internet police?
Who gave you the right to decide what words are acceptable or unacceptable to use?
Who gave you the right to judge someone’s comedy or content as bad and take it away?
Who gave you the right to constrict someone’s creativity(writing, art), because you think that it’s “problematic”?
To add to that, sjws are the most racist shitholes I’ve ever seen.
You complain about racism all the time, yet you’re the one’s who look at nothing but skin color. It doesn’t matter if a character is intelligent, strong-willed, kind, or helpful. If they’re white you automatically peg them as the devil. Lupita Nyong’o won an oscar for best supporting actress and ALL I saw was people being “so happy that a woman of color won the award”. Because it didn’t matter if Lupita was incredibly talented and nailed the shit out of that role, all you assholes focused on was her skin color.
You reduce everyone down to their sexuality or race or gender, without giving a crap about someone’s actual personality or character.
You lump everyone who isn’t white into a single category(POC).
I’d rather be identified by my race, and along with that it’s heritage, and culture, rather than be called 3 ambiguous letters or words. Do you know how ridiculously offensive it is to call a person someone “of color”? Like we’re somehow different from people who are white? Like we need our own tag to segregate us from white people? YOU ARE MOVING SOCIETY BACKWARDS WITH THIS KIND OF SHIT.
Racism against white people exists; not in the West, but in other parts of the world. White people are not the majority everywhere. You think the world evolves around America? You think every place is as diverse as America?
Go to Africa. Go to the Middle East. Fuck, go to parts of Asia. Open a history book maybe. SJW’s are actually trying to call Irish people POC, when they are WHITE AS SNOW because they can’t stand the fact that white people have been oppressed in history.
POC’s can be racist against other POC’s. My Arabian boss hates Asians. My black grandfather doesn’t like Mexicans.
White people are not Satan reincarnated. POC’s are not angels. Get that through your fucking head.
And stop STOP STOP speaking for other races! You’re only making yourself look stupid and like your suffering from an extreme case of white guilt.
Stop trying to pick apart every TV show/song/movie and look for thing you might deem “problematic”.
Get some air.
Stay off the internet.
Talk to actual people. Because most of you have barely any real-world experience and you will be eaten alive with your ridiculous ideologies.
And before anyone says “Well not all sjw’s are like that”, I am going off of the majority of sjws on tumblr. And if I’ve learned anything from sjw’s, it’s that it’s totally fine to judge and generalize the majority.
( The fact that I have to say that I am a black girl to avoid getting bombarded with comments like “white cishet” just shows how appalling your “movement” has become. )
ha, this reminds me a few people who got angry for silly reasons
the british primary school experience
This is so damn accurate… I never realized that sitting on the benches in year 6 was a universal thing, I thought it was just a quirk of our school that you had to sit on the floor before that.
Only thing that doesn’t bring back nostalgia is the velcro shoes bit.
Except for the assembly part, all of these are true in America too, or at least they were when I was in Elementary School (Tea was just called afternoon snack).
On radio this morning, you may have noticed the My Little Pony stuffed animals on Glenn, Pat, and Stu’s desks. Glenn also asked his listeners to send in photos of themselves with My Little Pony paraphernalia. Why? Because today Glenn is standing in solidarity with a nine-year-old North Carolina boy named Grayson Bruce.
On Saturday, TheBlaze posted a mind boggling story involving Grayson, a new lunchbox, a group of bullies, and a school that isn’t doing anything about it. In need of a new lunchbox and a fan of the animated TV program, My Little Pony, Grayson he picked a bag with the character Rainbow Dash from the program. That decision led to him being bullied at school – punched, shoved, and called names.
Grayson’s mom, Noreen Bruce, said that last Thursday morning her son was “so upset he would not get out of the car.” Rather than discipline the billies, a school counselor suggested Grayson “should hide his lunch box in his backpack and that when you carry things like that these things happen.”
“Here’s why I’m torn on this because in a society where I have to build you a special bathroom because you’re confused… God forbid you were ever born a certain gender. No, no. I have to build a bathroom for you,” Glenn said on radio this morning. “But a 9-year-old boy can’t choose to be different? A 9-year-old boy can’t choose My Little Pony and be protected by the school?”
The way Glenn sees it, this was a teaching moment and the school essentially taught that, when push comes to shove, you should hide who you are. The school district’s website states: “Buncombe County Schools strives to foster a climate of respect and personal responsibility among students, and does not tolerate bullying in any form.” And yet the school did not respect Grayson’s views.
“You didn’t respect his viewpoint of ‘I like My Little Pony.’ I don’t have a problem if you say, ‘Hey, buddy, I want you to know there are jerks everywhere’… But they’re tolerating it… They’re building special bathrooms for protected classes,” Glenn said. “Meanwhile, a 9-year-old who just likes My Little Pony is not a protected class, so he has to be told, ‘You should hide who you are.’ How do you expect our children to even know which way is up and which way is down? Because I don’t even understand it.”
The school claims it fosters ‘personal responsibility,’ and yet the school is not taking action against the bullies. Instead, it is encouraging Grayson to hide who he is.
“The only ones being responsible here, I think, is the 9-year-old kid Grayson. He’s being authentic. He’s being responsible. He’s saying, ‘This who I am. I don’t care what anybody else says about me. This is what I like.’ Everybody else is not being responsible… What are we doing?”
This morning, Glenn decided to send a clear message to Grayson and everybody else to let them know “it’s okay to be different.” He asked those listening to share their photos with My Little Pony using the hashtag#StandWithGrayson or email them to email@example.com.
“We’re not aficionados on My Little Pony. But I am an aficionado on what it takes to be a man in today’s world. And just because you like little ponies means nothing. You having the courage to be who you are and stand up no matter what society says, that is worth its weight in gold,” Glenn concluded. “Send us your snapshots or whatever else you might have and we’ll post them. And Grayson, if you and your mom ever want to come down to Dallas, you let me know. You can bring your My Little Pony lunch bag, and I might bring My Little Pony lunch bag. And we can have lunch.”